Who is Donald Swain?

Real or imaginary, art or fiction, the J. R. Hartley of Textpattern has graced websites for a decade. Would the real Donald Swain please stand up.

To any person who’s ever installed Textpattern CMS, Donald Swain has been an enigma.

Textpattern's infamous Donald Swain comment.

On Wednesday, we mark 10 years of Donald Swain commenting “I enjoy your site very much”. But who is this Mr. Donald Swain, and why was he picked as the very first commenter on Textpattern?

To answer this question that has perplexed so many of us for so many years, I went rummaging through the Internet Archives for clues of that fateful day in 2005.

In the Textpattern 1.0rc4 txpsql.php file, there he was:

$create_sql[] = “INSERT INTO `”.PFX.“txp_discuss` VALUES (000001, 1, ‘Donald Swain’, ‘me@here.com’, ‘example.com’, ’127.0.0.1’, ’2005-07-22 14:11:32’, ‘I enjoy your site very much.’, 1)”;

The date and time, I can only surmise, was when the above line was added to the txpsql.php file, which is dated 8/1/2005. Here we are 10 years later, the Textpattern 4.5.7 txpsql.php file has gone from Revision 704 to 5,881, and it still has Donald as the sole commenter, with the same date.

So who is Donald Swain? Only Dean Cameron Allen knows for sure, but he’s not telling—it’s a well kept secret.

Reprinted from TxpTag, with thanks.

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